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C.S. Lewis on furniture/affection
While helping the Fondrens move today, and seeing one of their couches sitting in their driveway, I was reminded of this quote by C.S. Lewis (the part about furniture).
What I have called Appreciative love is no basic element in Affection. It usually need absence or bereavement to set us praising those to whom only Affection binds us. We take them for granted: and this taking for granted, which is an outrage in erotic love, is here right and proper up to a point. It fits the comfortable, quiet nature of the feeling. Affection would not be affection if it was loudly and frequently expressed; to produce it in public is like getting your household furniture out for a move. It did very well in its place, but it looks shabby or tawdry or grotesque in the sunshine. Affection almost slinks or seeps through our lives. It lives with humble un-dress, private things; soft slippers, old clothes, old jokes, the thump of a sleepy dog’s tail on the kitchen floor, the sound of a sewing-machine, a gollywog left on the lawn.
Thinking about the book The Four Loves, I was reminded of this quote as well, about friendship.
“[Companions will be doing something together, and so too will friends] be doing something together, but something more inward, less widely shared and less easily defined… Hence we picture lovers face to face but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead. That is why those pathetic people who simply ‘want friends’ can never make any… Friendship must be about something, even if it were only an enthusiasm for dominoes or white mice. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow-travellers.
Comments
I like your furniture too, man.
Thanks for all the help today. I really do appreciate it. I'm glad our friendship can be about moving sometimes. :-)
Yeah, I realize that probably sounded like I was insulting y'all's furniture. That was not intended.
The quote has stuck with me over the years, because when I read it, I could imagine my furniture being out in the sunlight, and how out of place it would look.
Believe it or not, I have never read The Four Loves before. I guess that's why I didn't recognize your allusion to this passage on Saturday.
I wonder if Lewis's view of friendship is male-specific. Could we get some feedback from some of the females in the audience? Do you agree with Lewis's statement that "friendship must be 'about something'"?
The Four Loves and Surprised by Joy are probably my two favorites of all of Lewis's books. Jim, you really should read it [The Four Loves]!
Yes, I would feel safe saying that the friendship Lewis is talking about is male specific, only because at one point he says something unflattering about women who try to invade male gatherings. The fact that I tend to agree makes it no less unflattering. Really, you should read it. That's why I make no attempt to summarize. I would surely fail miserably.
To missquote Mr. Bennet from A&E's adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, "There are very few [women] whose society I can tolerate with equanimity, but you may turn out to be one of them." Therefore, I am not qualified to answer your question about female realtionships, although, here's my guess, based on limited experience: Female friendships tend to be "about" common experience and common feeling. By common, I do not necessarily mean vulgar, and by feeling, I do not necessarily mean sentamentalism. Mmm, how inpolitic can I be?
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